


Sin

by pnkln



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bad Humor, Betrayal, Broken Promises, Canon Universe, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/F, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Original Character Death(s), POV Alternating, POV Original Female Character, Plot Twists, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, levi doesnt know how to love her but he tries, love isnt the base of the fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25274248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pnkln/pseuds/pnkln
Summary: ❝𝘿𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙨, 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙞𝙣 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮. 𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙣𝙤 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙧, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢.❞∞Ashton Smith, one and only daughter of Commander Erwin Smith. She lost everything, clinging to her father as the only piece left of her humanity. She struggles to cope with the loss of everything she once knew, will she ever recover and shake her demons and be redeemed? Or will she face the fiery pits she's never feared before, until now.Perhaps there's a seat waiting for her right beside the Devil, himself.ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ: Ｓｅｐｔｅｍｂｅｒ⁶ , ²⁰¹⁸
Relationships: Levi/Original Female Character
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	1. chaotic introduction

**Author's Note:**

> i LOVE this fic so much, i've been reworking it since 2016, but didn't start actually writing it until 2018. this isn't going to be very romance based or sexual, as it mainly focusses on the oc's growth as a person and action taking place. 
> 
> i will warn, this doesn't start as *most* fics, she's not young nor new to the battlefield, as this takes place in 844

☻☻☻  
|Ashton Jo Rueben|  
Present day: 844  
Current age: 23  
  
  


I remember how the horses surged forward into the fray. Swords drawn, ready to welcome the blood that would stain them in the moments. I could not hear anything but the beating of a thousand hooves against the earth and battle cries rising to the heavens.

War doesn't determine who's right. It determines who's left.

I shift in my chair, rocking lightly as my memory traces back to the recent expedition. Time doesn't heal wounds of the heart, but thank god I'm not in grief of any. I pay my respects, smoke a cigarette at the grave, and a shot in their honor.

"Lieutenant." I snap back to reality as my squad member approaches. She placed the cleaning bucket beside me and tossed her gloves in, sighing. Cassandra had snapped at a comment another soldier made, breaking out into a fist fight. So I've kept her quite occupied with scrubbing every surface until I can see my reflection. 

I sighed while inspecting her work. It dawned on me, how little my squad ever gets into trouble. At least not with other scouts outside of our squad. They've definitely got a mouth, but they're my team for a reason. Although, they knew being on the Lieutenant's elite squad meant discipline, routine, and staying tight lipped. 

"Your cleaning is insufferable," I scowl as the dust flies from under the table. "I suggest you double check your work before presenting it so boldly, hm?"

If they can't clean, how can I send them outside the walls?

I acquired my team roughly six months ago, eight months ago is when I got promoted from squad leader to Lieutenant. Which meant I had to be mentally ready to care for more people than I ever intended. Moving on, my teammates. Cassandra is the only female on my team. She's proud, honest and brave. Bravery isn't something I enforce, but she has a strength not many have. Caspian, a tall redhead with perhaps the most serious attitude I've ever seen on a teenager. Ben and Klaus, twins and absolutely chaotic, but excellent in the field.

They've ventured outside the walls five times now, but one thing they utterly lack in is cleanliness. Dirt and mold make sick soldiers. Sick soldiers are useless on the battlefield. It only makes sense.

"Ooh, Ash!" I heard an exasperated yell from Hange, as she thrusted papers in Moblit's arms and rushed towards me. "So, Erwin has a huge mission coming up."

I stare at her goggles as she wiggles her brows at me, and I scoff. "Your point?" I push the doors open and walk across the courtyard with her following my long stride.

"My point is," she huffs and grabs my elbow, tugging me back. "You're a great soldier, and the Commander's right hand man. Are you going with him?"

I shifted my gaze, I never took pride in being called Erwin's _right hand man_. It's not the funnest when you're the commander's offspring.

"Ashton." Hange calls. "This could fix things between you two." There isn't much to fix. In this world, I do not exist. I'll keep it that way for as long as I can.

Other than her and Mike, my only two childhood friends know who I really am. Like Kinzie and Audwin. I have grown as a person, but some things are burned into people's minds forever and it can never be taken back.

Speaking of childhood friends, "Howdy," Audwin's strong southern accent gets on my nerves sometimes. "I didn't think I'd see your pretty face today."

"Wow," I mock. "Can't go a day without that southern charm huh?"

He shrugs with a smirk, looking to the left, then pulling something out of his pocket. "I meant to give you this a week ago, sort of an anniversary present. I guess." His smile was faint as he held the chain, attached is a blue rose pendant.

I couldn't find the words as I stared at it in my palm, my heart felt like it was sinking, but into a pool of emotions I've been reluctant to face. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and forced myself to look at him.

"That's so pretty," Hange comments, aweing at the craft.

"Yeah." I mumble in agreement. I twist the charm around, fiddling with it. It's gorgeous. The blue rose is the last gift I gave to Hazel. She loved blue roses.

"Want me to put it on you?" His brown eyes are much softer than I remember them being. He took the chain and placed it gently around the base of my neck.

I bring my hand to my usually empty neck, it feels strange. "You two have been distracting me, I have people to yell at."

One thing I can't stand about this position, is the amount of social interaction that is expected of me. People rely on me because I _voluntarily_ gave my life for my people. That's one perspective. But I also have people who utterly hate my guts.

"Hiya," Kinzie is on the fence when it comes to our bond. She's got these weird morals (they're not weird, just not mine), and she has been in and out of my life for the past five years. I've stopped relying on her. I've stopped trusting her.

I look down at her, noticing the small bruise forming from her altercation with Cass. "That's blooming nicely," I comment with a small smirk.

Kinzie's blue eyes narrow. She hums and ignores it. "That blue really compliments your eyes." She flashes her own charm. "Audwin made yours prettier. Anyways, I think they're pretty cute. Something that bonds us all to one entity."

Nothing as selfish and mundane as Kinzie should be tied to something so pure and breathtaking. My fists clenched, "Ah, you want to claim your nonexistent part in her life, huh?"

She giggles, crossing her arms. "Just as expected. Because who would you be without that draining emotional trauma."

I mock a sad face, "Who are you without your shitty wits and poor judgment in the field? What kind of scout are you without Audwin always being behind you to pick up your slack?"

She huffs, cheeks turning beet red and eyes glazing over. She's never been one to take criticism well. Especially if it's from anything that has to do with me or my team.

"You are a selfish bitch, Ashton. You are the end of all good things. Even your own relationship."

I grunt, clenching my fist. "You keep holding shit over my head and you'll find my fist making friends with your stomach very fast."

You'd think after getting the shit smacked out of her she wouldn't want another fight. She clicked her tongue in mock shame. "You're the Lieutenant but can't hold your tongue?"

"Ashton." Mike interrupts, and I barely catch his eyes. "The Commander called us to his office." Kinzie took the hint and left. As we walked towards the barracks, he gazed over at me. "Are you doing okay?"

"M'fine," I shrug, "why does he want to see me?"

"I'm assuming he's taking you with us, I don't know if I'm completely on board with that idea." He says with a drawn out sigh. I understand his point. I'm a _baby_ to everyone else, because they're all in their late twenties or thirties. I've been underestimated too much for my age, it doesn't define my strength or intelligence. 

I keep looking forward, muttering a weak response. "Erwin knows what's best." 

We arrive at the intimidating black door, and behind it is Erwin. Mike stops us, his hand on my bicep. "Ashton," 

I inhale deeply. My nerves start to jumble. I don't want to be doubted, not now, not ever. I'm not who I used to be. "Let's go." I mumble, pushing passed him into the office. I meet those icy blue eyes behind the desk, and a small smile possesses his lips. 

"Ah, my two strongest soldiers." He looks back down at his paperwork. "How are you doing today?" I ignore the question and sit down in the small sofa across from his desk, propping my legs up on the table. 

"Doing well, yeah." Mike sighs heavily.

"Good," He mumbles. "Ashton, I assume you've got your squad member under control?" 

I nod, "It's exactly what I've been doing all morning. Now, can we skip the damn small talk and get to what I'm here for?" He glares at me, finally giving us his full attention.

"We're going underground, the three of us." He informs bluntly, "I need you two in top shape for this mission." He rounded the desk with a thick file, tossing it on the table in front of me. "Not much to supply. Allegedly, three thugs acquired military issued equipment which is a felony—a huge one. They've been robbing the merchants—"

"Good for them," I cut him off, peeking at them through my lashes. "So, Nile and his muffs go after them quite often?" He nods, and I huff. "Ha! How incompetent are these buffoons. Ah, they never fail to humor me."

"Obviously this is going to be easy for us," Mike said with an easy smile. "But I have concerns." I glanced over at him, and he shot a look at me. "I would like to discuss this alone."

I gave a tight lipped shrug, "Anything else you need to say to me?"

Erwin just stared, shaking his head. I sigh and head towards the door. Just as I wrapped my hand around the knob, he called for me. "Ashton."

I grip the handle and release a sigh, peering over my shoulder. "Yeah?"

"I expect nothing but your best, this is serious." He speaks to me as if I'm a child. I know him being my father will always come second to his work, but that is all I'll ever be to him. A child.


	2. Raven Boy

|ashton jo rueben|

> **_837: August._ **
> 
> I couldn't keep track of the days. Anymore it felt like we were just ghosts stuck on this earth. Stuck forever in agony of the grief we haven't endured.
> 
> Erwin's not looked at me but once. It was hot, moist, sweat dripped down all our foreheads as the lot of us migrated through the large base. Rider and Feltcher were cracking jokes about how hot or ugly some of the elite cadets were while Kinzie tried bitching at them. Hazel and Audwin were lost in an endless conversation about who knows what. And me, silent as always.
> 
> Erwin looked almost disappointed in me. Like he didn't want me here. Nothing in my gut felt right since that day. It felt as if he had no faith in my abilities, like I'd crumble and freeze at the sight of my first titan.
> 
> He wasn't wrong.
> 
> _"Ashton!" Everyone was screaming at me, repeating my name over and over again, but I couldn't move. I felt a pain in my chest as the beast looked at me in the eyes, teeth sharp and mouth drooling with the taste for my blood. My flesh._
> 
> _This is mine, not anyone else's. But still, I couldn't fight for me._
> 
> _I heard a loud yell, and the titan fell. I fell with it, collapsing to my knees with only embarrassment folding over me. I was covered from the sun by a shadow, not just any shadow either. I met those icy blue eyes, and at once I looked at them with all the hope in the world._
> 
> _He didn't extend his hand, he didn't do anything. He just stared. "Ashton, pick yourself up. Now is not the time to throw yourself a pity party. I won't always be here."_
> 
> _I got up, and kept going._
> 
> **_Present day, 844: April_ **

I blinked. I felt the dry tears trickle down the side of my face. I groaned. It's the morning of the underground mission. It seems Mike didn't win his argument with Erwin, as I bet his concerns ranged from dangers of the underground and my own disability. I don't know.

I'm going to prove to the both of them, I'm not a child anymore. I don't need to be protected. If anything, people deserve protection from me.

In the mess hall, Mike chowed down while Hange blabbed about her latest research and whatnot. I didn't bother to listen, instead focusing on my food. I'm not a dainty, thin, little girl. I'm tall and strong. If I ate one meal a day I wouldn't have this body.

"Ash," I hear a worried Hange, "You seem anxious." These are things only she would notice because, well, she's Hange. We exchanged a series of looks describing how we feel, and she dropped it after I sent a glare her way.

I leaned back in my chair, maybe I _should_ talk to them about it. What good would it really do me though? Allowing someone to know how I feel even though there's absolutely nothing they could do to fix it? Not me.

* * *

We crept through the underground city. It's dim, cold, and filthy. I could never imagine life down here. I couldn't imagine dying down here.

"This is disgusting." I mutter, kicking rocks to the side.

"Just keep your head down," Mike orders. I mock him silently as we keep treading the underground city, and in the distance we hear wires and loud crashes. My eyes narrow as people scatter through the alleyways, this is our cue.

"Alright, remember your positions!" Erwin says as we run towards the direction, "Let's go!"

I rush behind them, watching the thugs fly over us, completely unaware of our presence. Erwin wasted no time in getting on their tail, and I had only one question. How did they acquire three sets of gear? And how can they maneuver it so well down here?

None of it matters in the moment. They've dealt with pigs for far too long. Let's see how they deal with the Survey Corps.

I turned sharp corners, losing my breath here and there. It seems they coordinated a plan to lose us. Like they've done this process a million times over. I bet they have, but we're not Military Police.

We're the face of Freedom.

I grit my teeth and lunge at the ash blond male in front of me, our gear rattling together as he fought my grip. Screaming swear words, demanding his freedom. Ah, how ironic. I cuff his wrists, stripping him of his gear.

"You've never dealt with people who can actually catch you, huh?" I squint, wiping sweat from my forehead. I look at my knuckle, there's fresh blood. Dammit, not what I needed.

The boy growls under his breath, muttering and scoffing as I pull him to his feet. He reluctantly walked towards the entrance of the underground city, where Erwin has surely secured the others.

We had them lined up, ready for questioning. That is, if they'll participate. I praise myself and our work. We did so much more in an hour than the MP's have their whole career. No wonder, how can they function under such infirm leadership?

My leader is Erwin, I stand inches away from the man. He has a purpose, he has the strongest faith and will to understand the titans, understand how the world outside the walls functions. He has a mission.

"I'll be asking a few questions," Erwin begins. He held up his own gear handle, "Where did you get this?" Silence. "Who got it for you, and who taught you how to use it?" Silence once again. He begins to lose his patience more as he approaches the raven haired male in the center. "You're the leader. Were you trained in the military?"

Erwin narrowed in on him. Anger filled his sharp eyes, a scowl on his features as he glared at Erwin in silence. I've been picky and gave my father the silent treatment a few times, but it doesn't last long.

All of a sudden, Mike's hand shoved his head in the dirty, muck water puddle beneath him. I cringe, as the redhead and blond lose their shit.

Erwin said again, "I'll ask you once more, where did you learn to use the mobility gear?" The tension didn't settle, in fact it spreaded like a poison. The brief silence ended after the blond boy averted his attention to Erwin.

"Nobody taught us! We learned it on our own. Get your head out of your asses and quit being cocky just because you're soldiers!" His attitude made me smirk. In my superior opinion, we can be cocky because we're the best soldiers there are.

"Self taught? I don't buy it." Erwin muttered. The pair argued back and forth for a moment, the blond spitting curse words like they're going out of style. I just wanted to sew his mouth shut.

"Quit doing that to my big bro!" The redhead shouted, struggling in her cuffs with a raging anger to stop Mike from keeping the raven in the mud.

Erwin sighed softly, and then Mike slowly released his hand but was quick to grip the raven's hair and jerk him up. Dirt water dripped from his sharp jawline, spitting to the side. Erwin began approaching the raven, kneeling in front of him.

"My name's Erwin Smith, what's yours?"

He seemed hesitant to answer. "Levi."

There was a glint of hope in his eyes. "Why don't we make a deal? Your crimes may go unpunished, that is if you'll lend your strength to the Survey Corps."

Levi's eyes narrowed at Erwin. They won't be treated kindly in the capital. People like him don't get a second wind. People like him are a waste of life.

"If I refuse?"

"The military police will have you," He said. "Considering your crimes combined, you probably will never see a good end. The decision is yours, however, choose whichever you prefer."

He acts like joining the scouts won't result in death, at least not immediate. Some are lucky to have survived as long as they have, but went through years of losing someone over and over again. I hate the pain, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

"Fine," He mutters. "I'll join the Survey Corps."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is very manga based right now, and i apologize if it's rushed or cramped :/// doing my best. but anyways, how do we feel about this chapter? how do we feel about Ashton's cocky attitude?


	3. Trust

**||Third Person||**

The birds chirp as the sun barely began to make an appearance. Ashton stood in front of the open window, naked with a glass of whiskey in her left hand. Her right arm crossed over her chest, and her hair stuck to her forehead from the moist summer air approaching. She basked in the small success they had, and praise she received from Erwin.

_You did really well_ , he said to her. That afternoon, she sat in her office chair and her mind wandered. Mike and Hange kept her company, soft chattering all afternoon with the blonde. 

"I don't like his name," Ashton commented, leaning back in her chair. "Raven Boy is more suiting." The pair laughed. Though it was witty, Ashton didn't feel he had a reason to have a name so personal. So loose with meaning, she chucked the thoughts back into her head and smiled small. 

The sun bled through the mountains and trees, highlighting her beautiful, silky white skin. She ran her thin fingers across the many bumps and scars lining her biceps, memories behind each one. How she'd lean against a wall with fresh bruises and scrapes and wince, attempting to conceal her pain, and Hazel would tend to them immediately no matter the severity. No matter how much Ashton complained and declined her help. 

She blinked back her emotions, downing the rest of her glass and getting on with her day.

Her uniform tends to consist of all black, but since it's a Saturday; everyone is allowed an off day. Her broad shoulders are covered with a black button up, sleeves rolled up to her elbows to expose her muscular forearms. The two top buttons revealing her collarbones and necklace. 

The morning became corrupt the second she spots Hange. "Ashton!" The flaming brunette did her best to wrap her arm around Ashton's shoulders, smiling wide and bright. 

The blonde sent a subtle glare, pushing her arm off. "Why do you need to shout my name for the world to hear?"

She giggles. "Because you're my favorite person," she paused, finger tapping her bottom lip in thought. "Anyway, have you seen the new cadets in training?"

Ashton cringed and groaned, "Don't disrespect us like that Hange, and don't give them that much credit. They were impulsive and chose living. I think they would've had better luck in the capital." Her head tilted as she crossed her arms, leaning on her left leg. Hange still awaited an response, earning a sigh. "No, Hange. I haven't.

"Levi holds his blades backwards," Hange awed. "I thought about it, and I wrote it down as well for future recruits. The method used to kill them relies on the individual holding the blade. I think it's incredible."

Ashton's face was glued to the stoney floor beneath them, muttering under her breath. "Or a good way to hurt yourself and die."

"Good morning, Miss Sunshine." Kennedy approached the two superiors. Her lips curled in a cunning smile and snickered, as she teased the Lieutenant. "You're really showing off today, Lovely. Look at those forearms!"

If it's anything she's learned over the years, it's Kennedy is nothing but trouble.

Ashton scoffs, "You got somewhere to be or are you pissing time away?"

"Is it criminal to want a conversation, Ashton?" Kennedy raised a teasing brow, but Ashton only stared back with disinterest. "Fine, I'll go chat with Isabel since she knows how to respond."

Ashton and Hange slowly approach the training field, where a chunk of soldiers spend their time and a portion of the days. Ashton only had good memories from this field, but they're tainted with grief and sorrow now.

Flagon stood with his back to the women, training the thugs as he saw fit.

"Who's squad are they in?" Kinzie approaches, eyeballing Ashton.

Ashton held a hollow expression as she stared at the three thugs, socializing with her own squad. No doubt they're getting along, just another thing her squad can grieve about. "Flagon's," she answers, "I doubt they'll make it back from outside the walls."

Flagon turned over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes and approaching her. "Do you doubt my leadership skills? Just because you're the Lieutenant doesn't mean you can shit on everyone else."

Ashton scoffed, uncrossing her arms as the shorter male took half a step back. "I didn't mention you in my opinion. Don't get your skirt all in a twist because I have an opinion about three no-good-"

"Don't be so harsh," Kinzie cuts her off with a harsh whisper and glare. Noticing a few lingering eyes upon their argument. "They've been confined to the grim treatment of the underground. They're just as human as you, Ashton." 

Ashton's jaw clenched as the dark haired girl glared at her. She clams up and crosses her arms again, as her eyes narrowed on Kinzie as she walked away. There'd be a lot more fighting between them if Ashton wasn't in her current position. Another reason to the list of why Erwin made her a superior. 

"Hello Jo. How did you sleep?" Erwin lightly laid his hand on her shoulder, as she jolted slightly. He smiled small in amusement as her green obrs illy stare him down. 

She hates small talk. She hates her middle one-syllable name. "Fine." 

He gave an awkward tight lipped smile, "Right then. The scouts are going over the formation Monday, so I would like to go over the formation again with the squad leaders present to refresh your memory."

He grouped the few superiors standing and began _refreshing_ them with the long range formation, and extra little bits of information given by Hange. Ashton listens, but in reality she's listened enough times she could present it herself.

"Seems like it's in top shape. Doubtful we'll lose many soldiers if nobody wrecks the format." Flagon comments. Erwin flashed a soft smile.

"I'm so glad we have them." Hange continued to drool at the new soldiers, "How cool would it be to watch him in the field." She says with a smile. "Why didn't we find them sooner?"

Ashton huffed, "How cool would it be to watch him fall into the mouth of a titan?" She smirked, looking at Hange. The woman just gave her a sideways glare and chuckled softly.

"I might place Levi on your team after the expedition. Since you are the elite team, afterall." Erwin says, smirking as well.

Ashton's blank expression turned into one of disgust, eyes remaining on the soldiers. "It's cute you think I would accept your proposal. I have all the man power I need, with or without a team." Erwin sighed and patted her shoulder as he walked away. She could hear Hange's rambling begin to fade, and she released a breath she didn't know she was holding. 

Her eyes shift to the dirt floor beneath her boots, rubbing her neck. All this time she's spent trying to protect herself from her grief, but only wallows in it. She picked her eyes up, and in the entrance to the brooding forest stood Raven Boy. He stared at her with an intense glare. Ashton only blinked, turning on her heel and leaving. 

* * *

The day went by smoothly. Nobody discussed the new recruits, aside from the snarky, arrogant soldiers. They kept to themselves, and didn't disclose too much information about themselves. Smart, if anyone bothered to really think about it. The trio sat at a table alone, their dinner in front of them. 

Levi peered over his shoulder, studying the room. There are the usual "cliques," even he knew them in the underground. He seen the broad, muscular boys sitting at tables together, loud and obnoxious girls chattering away about who knows what. And then the elite soldiers, veterans, and high ranks in the military. It seemed they sat close together, and Levi failed to understand why. Is it some kind of cult? 

He studied the Commander, and the blonde sitting a seat away from him. They didn't bother hiding their stares, or the fact they were conversing about Levi and his two friends. He scoffed, facing forward. 

"I think I found the Commander's quarters." Farlan mumbled, leaning over slightly. "I don't know if he stays in there, honestly it seems they all have some sort of room on the higher floor. Don't know what they're used for, though." 

"Maybe they actually sleep in there?" Isabel said almost matter of factly. The blond glared at her and she giggled. "Look, if you're planning on searching his office, then I suggest waiting until you know he won't be in there. Just some random time won't do, Farlan." 

"Don't think carelessly, Farlan." Levi said. 

"You two think I must be stupid, huh?" 

The trio parted ways, as Levi stated he wanted to search the grounds a bit more. See exactly what the scouts has to offer. He liesured around the dirt path, going towards the training grounds. He spent a majority of his time here, but there were so many faces around. He wandered aimlessly, then seen the wood shed just before the training grounds. He remembered there's a spare infirmary inside, and training equipment. A place a soldier dedicates one on one time, or personal time. Essentially, the shed tends to remain unused to his knowledge. 

He approached the dimly lit shed, with the only source of light coming from inside and a stick holding a lantern on the end outside the door. How could this little, dingey thing hold during a storm? Baffled him. The door creaked, revealing a small hallway with a door immediately to his left. He peeked inside, and it was too dark to see. So he kept walking towards the sounds. 

Light poured into the small opening, and the grunting got louder, thumps got harder. Their fists going so fast he could barely keep up with the number of hits he could hear. Levi rounded the corner, but before he could observe the room he was smashed into the wall behind him. The fists came to a halt. 

A tall, broad shadow casted over him. They outstretched a lightly, messily wrapped hand, dirty and somewhat bloody, he accepted. "Watch what the fuck you're doing." 

As the figure lifted him, he could finally get a good look at the person. He didn't expect it to be the infamous Lieutenant, throwing her fists at a sack of grain. Someone he's only heard stories about since he's been here.

"Don't you think it should be you watching out?" She asked as she slammed her fist into the sack hanging from the ceiling. Levi looked the lieutenant up and down, watching her form as she beat the sack. She's a fast fighter, but he noticed the way her arms swung around and the shakiness in her right leg, she didn't have much more fight in her. 

The blonde stood upright, wiping her forehead on her damaged wraps. She took a step away, acting uninterested in the fight, and picked her left leg up and swung it at the sack. The chains clanked together as they watched the grain sack fall to the wooden floor, and Ashton just clicked her tongue. 

"What's your name?" Levi blurted. He waited to catch her eyes, but she remained silent as she down her water. 

Her slanted eyes meet his. "Ashton, but you'll address me as Lieutenant Rueben." Her accent's unexpected. She sounds so prim and proper, educated. "I didn't expect to be interrupted during my private session. What are you doing out here?" Her eyes narrow in at him. 

He didn't waver. "Getting to know the place, is it criminal?" 

She huffed, being asked that twice in one day is amusing. "No, suppose not." She faced the wall, staring out the small window. "Tell me something, it's hard to trust anyone in this world. Especially in your position. Why did you pick them?" 

Levi failed to understand her point. "I don't think that's much of your business," 

She chuckled lifelessly. "My my, already blowing off your superiors questionnaire? I just refuse to believe you're the most valued asset." 

"What are you insinuating?" Levi grit his teeth, trying but failing to keep composure. 

Ashton sighed once more, tossing her shirt over her shoulder. She turned on her heel to walk away, peering over her shoulder. "All I'm saying is, it's difficult to trust people in this world. Why did you trust them?" 

Levi couldn't stop thinking about it. It should've been a quick answer, why he _does_ trust them. He couldn't come up with a single answer. He couldn't fathom this world without Farlan and Isabel. His first answer could've been because they have been there through everything. 

But he didn't trust a single soul here, so why is he so tore up over the question? 

Farlan's lanky legs were the only thing Levi seen out of the corner of his eye. Blood dripped down his brow, and the boy on the ground shivered and cried. Farlan only smirked, waiting for Levi to approach knowing he never would. Their eyes lock, and something within Levi told him he could trust Farlan. 

He couldn't ever explain that to somebody. 

Levi wandered the halls, finding his way to the rooftop of the barracks. It's quiet, cold, serene. The trees stretched so far away. How many wild creatures are there he doesn't know about? How many different flowers are there? How deep do the rivers go? The black sky enveloped him in his wonders of the world, with the stars lighting his way. The clouds slowly moved out of way of the moon, or the night sun as Isabel said. 

"Hey bro," Isabel plopped down on the pillar beside him, looking up at the sky. 

"Hey." Farlan sat on the other side, staring at the side of Levi's face. 

Levi didn't respond, facing the sky once more. This night, this sky, became everything to him in the moment. The hushed winds breezing past him, the way the moon allowed all his worries to creep away and be locked in a cage for a short second. Then, reality fell on him. 

Isabel smiled, "Do you think they shine brighter when people look at them?" 

"Dunno, but they're beautiful." Farlan comments, "Maybe when we die, we become stars. Maybe that explains it, Isabel." 

Her eyes widen in awe, her smile getting softer. "It would be a beautiful afterlife, huh?" 

Levi smiled, his eyes shifting between his friends, then the sky. "Yeah, it would be." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i found new writing techniques and i wanted to test them out a little with reworking this chapter. i like it, and i hope it brought a lot more imagery to the story.  
> also, do you mind the shifting POV's ?? we don't hear from another character's first point of view other than Ashton, as it's written in third person or a different pov from a character in third person.

**Author's Note:**

> do we like ashton so far? how do we like her personality? does she seem shallow or very deep? i dunno, she's a very shallow(ish) character in the first arc. we REALLy dive deep after the ninth chapter, so be prepared !!! i hope you all enjoy, kudos and comments are VERY appreciated <3 love u all sm thank u for taking the time to read this <333


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